Working Mom

I'm bored today. I have extra time because Layla is taking another long nap. Plus, it's still weird for me to be a stay-at-home-mom. I'm just home. All day long. Usually I have a lot of things to do and I feel like I'm always busy. Running a household and chasing a one year old is not easy. But at the same time I'm bored. Doesn't really make sense, I know. Especially when you consider that my "job" includes smothering this face with kisses all day long.

The problem is that while I am busy grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, etc., I am not busy using my brain. Asking a one year old if she wants "more?" and changing stinky diapers don't exactly stimulate my thinker. I feel like it's shriveling up, slowly decaying into a void of nothingness. I feel stupider. I know, "stupider" isn't a word, but that's my point.

In order to combat my first wish to go back to school, which is pretty much impossible right now since my uber motivated hubby is becoming a doctor of sick rocket motors, I decided to put my already-earned education to use and get a job.

Now I have a job already, but they rarely have work for me to do. When they do send me something it doesn't take much time for me to finish. So I applied for more jobs to fill in the rest of my time. I applied for ten jobs, all editing jobs working from home. I spent at least 15 hours last week studying and taking editing tests for one job that I want so bad I'll cry if I don't get it. Keep in mind the woman doing the hiring told me she picked me as a potential candidate out of "hundreds of resumes," so I should just be flattered to have made it this far in the testing process. But that's not good enough for my perfectionist brain. I want the job. I am job.

I'm supposed to hear back by Thursday. They'll either offer me the job, ask me to do more testing, or tell me I suck and that I have no business editing someone else's work. Either way, I've told myself that it will all work out for the best. Trying to stay positive.

While I was ridiculously busy last week, I thoroughly enjoyed it. I used my brain. And I feel smarter already. If I don't get the job, I'll wait to hear back on the others and then apply for some more. I need to work I've decided. Just part-time and from home. I want my first priorities to be my hubby and our girl.

Speaking of my hubby, he is doing so great at work. I am really proud of him. I'm a little nervous for him to start school. Not because I think he can't do it. I know he'll do awesome. But because I know he'll be super busy and I hope he's not so busy at work that school stresses him out. I want him to enjoy it- as much as one can actually enjoy school, that is.

And our girl is doing awesome. She will probably be walking this week or next. Actually, she can walk, she just doesn't know how to stop and stay standing up. She prefers to squeal and dive to her destination. While it makes me laugh, every single time, I do wish she'd take it a little more serious and slow down. She would have been walking weeks ago if she'd stop diving. But, it's funny and what's the rush, right?

I dressed Layla like summer today. It looked like summer outside- until this afternoon. I hate that. Pick a season and stick to it! At least it's warming up and I can run outside again.

I am glad every day when I get to hang out with her. She's fun and she teaches me so much about loving people. So don't get me wrong, I am very thankful that I can stay home. Mitch works so hard so that I can. I just need to exercise my brain a little.