"Girly-ness"

Growing up, I was never really a "girly-girl." I didn't play with barbies or dolls all that much, and I'm sure my mom would have loved it if I had been more into makeup or clothes, but to be honest, I just didn't care. (Looking back on some of my high school pics, I wish I had cared just a little more. Ha, ha!) But in reality, clothes, make up, etc. just weren't important to me at the time. I probably care more about that stuff now than I ever have before. Not sure what changed? Maybe now I actually have the time and money to spend on it? However, I definitely do not go shopping on a regular basis, I do not follow trends, and when I do go shopping, it's usually at Target. I always feel there are better things to spend my money on than clothes. And I am all about comfort over fashion. But don't get me wrong; I do enjoy buying some new clothes and makeup now and again. Everyone needs that sometimes.

Anyways, I recently had a couple of interesting conversations with friends and my visiting teacher about raising little girls. I think that some girls are born more naturally "girly" than others, and I also believe that the mother plays a role in how important makeup and clothes will be to a girl, especially during the teenage years.

While I do not want Layla to care so little about her appearance that she looks like a slob, I also do not want her to care so much that her appearance becomes the only thing that matters to her or the only thing she has going for her.

So, my question is, how do I raise her to be somewhere in the middle? How do I teach her to care about her appearance enough, without it being her sole focus? I want her to realize that other things, such as school, church, family, talents, etc, are much more important than how she looks. How do I teach her that she can dress very modestly while still being cute? How can I teach her not to care what the other girls are dressing like, especially when they are dressing immodestly or in very expensive clothes? Peer pressure can be killer for some kids.

I think my real issue is that I know I can force her to dress modestly and inexpensively, but I want her to understand why that's important and to choose it for herself. To decide that she will value the most important things over looking a certain way. How does that happen? Is it something that is taught or just part of one's personality?

I know I can be a big example to her in this area ... but let's face it, your mom is not exactly the coolest, best dressed person when you are a teenager. (Actually, my mom has always had great taste, but you know what I mean.) Even if she truly respects that I dress modestly, will that be enough of an influence when she's 16 and wants to wear a strapless dress to prom and I tell her no?

I really hope that she will grow up to understand the importance of dressing modestly, and most of all, that inner beauty, being a good person, faith, family, education, etc. matter much, much more than one's physical appearance.

Also, I must add that while Layla is young, I do LOVE dressing her up super cute when we're going somewhere. (But when we're home, I don't care and I rarely even do her hair. I know, gasp! But hey, you try doing an energetic toddler's hair!) Also, I dress her in tank tops and two-piece swimming suits. She's not even two for Pete's sake! But, I realize that at some point I'll have to stop buying her anything that I wouldn't want her to wear as a teenager. The hardest part will be the two-piece swimming suits ... I love them (for me too) and have always thought that while some are very skanky, others are not. Guess I better decide and stick to my guns.

 And now I'll get off my soapbox. Thanks for listening.