First of all, when Mitch and I were first married, we knew
that we wouldn’t raise our kids in the house we were living in. Partly because
the floor plan of the house was not good for having more than one kid, but
mostly because the schools our area fed into were terrible. We knew we would
move before Layla started kindergarten.
Fast forward to when we decided to move. We looked at homes
in many areas, all with good schools. We finally decided the general area and
builder we wanted to build with based primarily on getting the most bang for
our buck. When we looked into the area more, we found out that Heritage
Elementary was not only a top ranked school in the county and state, but that
they also offered Chinese Immersion. Sold! We switched lots to have one that
was adjacent to the school.
When I registered Layla for kindergarten, I put her in the
lottery for Chinese Immersion, and then prayed and prayed that she would get
in. I also met with the principal and asked her opinion on having Layla skip
kindergarten. I knew Layla was extremely bright and already knew the
kindergarten curriculum. I felt like she either needed Chinese or to skip to
avoid being bored all year. At the end of the day, she got into Chinese and we
decided that would be better than skipping a grade because she would learn a
language and stay with kids her own age.
Kindergarten was great. Layla truly loved learning Chinese,
she had awesome teachers, and made lots of friends. We had some issues at home
that a lot of girls that age go through (or so I’m told). Mostly temper
tantrums, power struggles, etc. They did work themselves out over the course of
the school year. Overall though it truly was a great year.
First grade started off fine. She had her “sissy,” Ella
Bott, in her class and they were happy for the first three months. Then in
October Layla started acting different. Mitch and I both noticed that she was
acting out towards us (which she really didn’t do anymore), was acting shy when
she is normally incredibly talkative, and would occasionally say things about
Ella not wanting to play with her anymore. I kind of brushed it all off as
typical kid drama and friendships that come and go. I knew she had plenty of
other friends and didn’t worry about it. By the time December came around, she
was crying after school saying nobody liked her and that she didn’t have any
friends. Again, I tried to console her and tell her she had lots of friends,
just as I saw when I volunteered at the school.
Christmas break was great, but when school started up again,
I finally realized that something really was wrong. (I know, mom of the year.) She
would now cry for up to an hour at a time, several times a week, saying she
didn’t have any friends, etc. One night I decided to email her teacher and ask
if she knew if something was going on between Layla and Ella or if she had
noticed anything else. She emailed me right back and said she had noticed something
was different between the girls and that Layla had been acting differently. She
said she was glad I had asked and would talk to Layla the next day. I spent
that night on my knees, crying and pleading with Heavenly Father that He would
help Layla to be happy at school and that the correct situation would present
itself.
Since this is a really long story, I will shorten it by
saying that the teacher ended up switching Layla into the other class next door
(same teachers, just different students). I was elated and felt like my prayer
had been answered. The next few weeks or even month or two were great. Layla
had many friends in the other class. I really wish she had been in that class
to start with! She seemed happy and I was happy.
By the time April or May came around she was unhappy again.
This time I knew it wasn’t friends because she had loads of friends in that
class and was always playing with someone. Instead, she would come home from
school and cry and say she was SO bored. One day I was volunteering in her
class. Before she saw me I noticed that she looked so sad. I walked up to her
and the tears just welled up in her eyes. I asked her what was wrong and she
said she was bored. This was in Chinese class. Bored learning Chinese. Hmmm.
She wrote me a few notes that said things like, “I am sooooooooo bored! I hate
school! I’m never going to school again! The boys in this class are cuckoo
crazy and nobody listens!” It broke my heart to read these notes! She is so
intelligent and should be challenged, not sitting there bored, hating school!
That’s when I began to piece together the puzzle and thought
about her sitting at school for 7 plus hours a day, learning and repeating
things she already knew. Sure, there are plenty of Chinese words she doesn’t
know, but they practice the same words day after day and she only needs to hear
them once or twice. I can see how she’d be bored. She literally had perfect
scores on every single test and report card for the entire school year, in
English and Chinese. I began to believe her that she was legitimately bored and
7 hours of school, every day, was torture for her. I thought Chinese and good
friends would be enough, but it truly wasn’t.
Now it’s May and I don’t know what to do. We told her
repeatedly that the school year was almost over and she would have to put on a
brave, happy face and get through it. Ignore the “cuckoo crazy” boys and just
do her best. Then we scrambled. I looked into charter schools; asked the
principal, district employees, and friends with education backgrounds about
having her skip a grade; and we even looked into moving and finding a different
school.
I also looked into the gifted program, but was told that the
testing had already been done for the year. I was so mad at myself. At every
single parent/teacher conference in kindergarten and 1st grade, her
teachers have suggested that we have her tested for the gifted program. But I
didn’t bother to have her tested because I loved that she was learning Chinese
and I didn’t want to give that up. Or drive her to a different school. So I
said no each time.
After making a few phone calls, I found that they were doing
one last testing session the end of May, and I got her in by the skin of my
teeth. She tested for 3 days. I was told there were only 2 or 3 spots available
for 2nd grade and there were 7 kids testing. I told myself that if
she didn’t get in, I would have her skip a grade.
She scored in the 99th percentile in all three
categories. She is amazing, I tell ya! Imagine my shock though when we got the
letter saying she didn’t get in and would have to wait a year. What?! Three
other kids scored higher? I called the lady over the program the next day and
just asked her what she thought about having Layla skip a grade based on her
test results. I was surprised again when she told me that she was going to call
me that day. It turns out that there was actually only ONE spot available, and
one kid did score higher than Layla. But, she saw Layla’s scores, and asked the
teacher if she could take an extra student. When the teacher saw Layla’s
scores, she said, “We can’t have a student like that at a normal school,
Chinese or not” and said she would take her!
So here we are, with two weeks left until school starts. I
will now be driving Layla to a school about 10 minutes away and picking her up
every day. She will be in a classroom with other students who think like her.
They will cover 1.5 years worth of material in one year, and at a deeper depth.
I am having mixed feelings over the whole thing. Mostly I feel like we were led
to this and that Heavenly Father answered my prayers and this is all part of
His plan for Layla. But I also am incredibly sad that she won’t be learning
Chinese anymore. She loved it and was so good at it, but at the end of the day,
it wasn’t enough to keep her happy at school. But it still makes me sad!
Not to mention how nervous I am for her to go to a school
where she doesn’t know a single person! Layla makes friends easily and I’m sure
it will be fine, but I’m still so nervous for her! All of the kids in her class
were in the same class last year, so they all know each other. She and the
other kid who got in the program will be the only new kids in a class that will
be together for the second year in a row. Ahhhh! I have been praying that she
will make new friends. Good, kind friends who will be good influences and she
to them.
And the selfish part of me is bummed that I have to drive
her to school every day! Grrr! We moved to this exact location so that she
could walk to school! It is literally at the end of our street. She doesn’t
even have to cross the street! Lame. And it makes me sad that if she stays in
the gifted program, she and Marcus will never go to the same school, unless he
gets into the program too. (I honestly have no idea how he’ll be in school yet.
Kindergarten will be really telling. I still haven’t decided if we’ll put him
in Chinese or not, we’ll see how preschool goes this year.) It also makes an
issue when Marcus starts school- I will have to make arrangements for him to go
to a neighbor’s house before and after school each day while I drive Layla. I
know it’s not a huge deal, and I have plenty of friends here who have already
offered to help, I just struggle when things don’t go according to my plan.
But, that’s the funny thing about my life. None of it is
according to my plan. At all. It’s better! I didn’t plan to serve a mission, I
had planned to marry someone else, and I had planned to have Layla walk to
school and learn Chinese, dang it! LOL. But in all seriousness, if I’ve learned
anything, I’ve learned that when I try to do what Heavenly Father would have me
do, and pray my guts out to know what that is, I end up happier than I could
have imagined. Serving a mission is something I am grateful for every day,
marrying Mitch was the best thing I’ve ever done in my life and I can’t imagine
where I’d be otherwise, and I have no doubt that soon I will realize that this
decision was the best too, even if it makes me a little sad right now. I feel
like this is a huge leap of faith for me, because it affects my sweet daughter
and I want to do what is best for her. But deep down, I know this is it, even
if it’s inconvenient and not what I would choose. I hope it helps her learn to
have faith and trust in Heavenly Father’s plan for her. That will bring her the
most happiness in life and in the eternities.
So, here’s to a new school, new friends, a new teacher, and
a new adventure!
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