I have always been a devoted fan of yours. I read your magazine cover-to-cover every month. Your articles inspire me and teach me new things.
But this month you went above and beyond.
You saved my life.
I was reading one of your Christmas articles when out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw a fly buzz by my head. I looked to my left and saw this Ugly Creature sitting next to me on the couch.
The one I saw was smiling too, just like this one. Immediately, I jumped up and threw you on the ground. Panting, my heart racing, my palms sweating, I grabbed a large book and smashed The Ugly Creature on the couch. I watched him, crumbled, half-alive, literally jump off the couch and land nowhere else but underneath your beautiful pages.
What to do? Mitch is at work. The neighbor's not home. I'm scared it's a poisonous spider and I'll end up in the hospital with an open flesh wound (dramatic, yes, but it could happen). Cautiously, I lift up your pages. No spider. But what's underneath? The plastic that you came wrapped in. And guess what's inside the plastic? The Ugly Creature!!!
You saved my life! Thank you, Ensign! I was even able to wrap The Ugly Creature up in your plastic cover to show my disbelieving hubby when he came home. We looked up The Creature online.
It is no other than the Phidippus mystaceus aka The Jumping Spider. They can jump up to 50 times their body size.
So Ensign, not only did you save my life, but now my hubby will believe me next time I call him at work and frantically tell him that, "the spider jumped off the couch and tried to get me!"
Your Devoted Reader,
Lacey
p.s. Jumping Spiders are not poisonous, thank heavens!, because that's the second one I've found in our house. Sick. They give me the willies.
4 comments:
Holy Crap! That is the freakiest looking thing I have ever seen. Spiders never bother me...that one, however, would give me a run for my money I think. I'm glad he's not poisonous and you made it out alive!
we used to get those jumping spiders at work all the time. They have really good eye site and we would literally see it turn and look at us. EW! But the good news is that it is the kind of spider that actually eats other spiders. So, we would just capture them and put them outside to take care of the wolf spiders... But they are still disgusting and creepy none the less.
Yuck!! It is so creepy that it looks like it is smileing at you! I would scream, and run as well. Good luck with them at your house. I would suggest an exterminator for sure before spring. Kill the eggs!!
I hate spiders, but Kevin hates them worse than I do. He insists on getting our house sprayed every year (which I guess is good - the first time they came they said we had hobo spider webs all over the unfinished part of our basement). Anyways, I am glad that the Ensign was there to save your life!!!
Post a Comment